Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Why?

Why do I sabotage? 

We already talked about the whole lack of progress thing a few days ago...Well there are other reasons why I sabotage.

It is so hard to lose weight when you are married and happy!  It really is!  My husband wants me just as much as the day we got married if not more and he loves me.  I am really blessed but dammit if it doesn't make it harder to lose weight.  I associate being thin with getting a guy!  I know this isn't true but I do and I have my guy and he loves me just the way I am so why change? 

For myself!  Right?!  I need to do it because I want to be healthier BUT I don't have any health issues now that are pushing me to need to lose weight now right now. 

Mostly I am doing this for looks and because I need to get back into my smaller clothes.  Sometimes that isn't motivation enough to keep me going and I end up sabotaging my progress and then giving up all together. 

Then I start the cycle all over again.  They say that Being Thin is better than that stuff tastes but in the moment I can't remember being thin enough to make it through.  

Maybe I am just weak.  I am so strong in my life as a wife and mom and my job but when it comes to weight loss I am weak.  Losing weight and changing your life is hard.  It is HARD as hell.  And I am not sure I am strong enough to do it.


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