Sunday, February 3, 2013

Sweet Nothing

Ok, so we are using this as a way to express ourselves...i have the tendency to introvert, and I go inside when i am depressed or upset...i get so insecure, i am ashamed.  But maybe here i can express how i feel, without judgement or recourse.  I am typically very positive, but how can i keep that up without getting this out?  Tonight I must speak....

I am barely holding on here...i fight everyday to not self destruct.  This week alone I resisted the urge to go to the BRAND NEW Krispy Kreme so many times, I can't remember how many...My tendencies to overeat have gotten so out of control.  You see, I am going thorough one of the toughest things in my life.  I am getting a divorce.  The love of my life, has chosen something else over me and our child.  He chooses alcohol.  And if that was not enough, my father has been very ill for a very LONG time.  He has been in the hospital so many times, it seems routine.  Now he has been transferred to a "specialized nursing care" facility and I PRAY that he will start to recover quickly

I just want to eat.  I just want to eat everything. What would that accomplish?  More agony...So here I sit, not eating.  Maybe I will write.  I am a writer...i can get it out that way...???

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