Putting myself out there!

I have struggled with my weight for most of my life but here recently I can say that Mommyhood and bad choices are really what has gotten me in to my current bind.  I gained 40 pounds after I married my husband who is awesome but is perpetually skinny.  It is just his make up.  He loves me for me and no matter what size I am that will not change.  It is my desire to be healthy and feel good about how I look that is my goal.  I did a great job losing all of the weight I had gained from marriage and then I ended up pregnant with our 1st daughter Nisee!  I gained just under 50 pounds that pregnancy and while it took me almost 2 years I lost all of that plus some and got down to the smallest I had been in 10 years.  I was happy and I was running 5K's and I was FIT and most of all I felt great!  Then of course surprise surprise I found out on my 29th birthday that I was pregnant again!  This pregnancy was very rough.  It was emotionally and physically the hardest thing I thing I have ever done.  Just a brief back story ... we were told at 20 weeks that our little girl was not going to make it.  She was diagnosed with IUGR (intra uterine growth restriction).  I had to have weekly ultrasounds to check her growth and every week I had to be prepared to go into the hospital.    Anyways all that led to a 60 pound weight gain I was put on partial bed rest and calorie rich diet to try to keep her growing.  She was born full term weighing only 4 pounds 7.25 ounces.  She was only 20 grams from a NICU stay.  Otherwise she is healthy but just really tiny!  We are very blessed with the outcome we got. (If you want to know more you can check out my other blog here: The Pangans)  I only lost 16 pounds from having her.  I started out shortly after she was born trying to lose the weight again.  I lost just under 40 pounds and I was so happy because I was getting back to when I felt good.  Then something happened.  I have been busier than I think I have been in years.  Between work and home and Chad lost his job and my dad had a heart attack and the list goes on and on. I have gained back 25 pounds of what I had lost.  So this is my goal through weight watchers to get back down to where I want to be.  Below are a few snaps of www.modelmydiet.com and their portrayal of my now, half way and my goal!  I am going to post some actual pictures of me and Nicole soon!  But in the mean time this is where I am aiming to get to!

They have multiple backgrounds to pick from.  So I did one in just underwear type clothes and the one below is in their beach attire!